tail -f /var/log/roasts.log

the wall of shame

20 categories of founder suffering, each with sample AI roasts. find your scenario. read the roasts. feel seen. then go fix your numbers.

brutalZero RevenueYou launched. You shared it on Twitter. You waited. The Stri...›coldFirst Sale EuphoriaOne person paid you real money and your brain chemistry chan...›coldFirst $100 MRRYou cracked triple digits. Technically this is momentum. Pra...›brutalThe Churn SpiralYou have figured out acquisition. Customers arrive, get exci...›brutalThe PlateauYou had growth once. You remember it fondly. Then something ...›brutalRamen ProfitableThe revenue covers your living costs, if those costs are agg...›brutalGrowing But Bleeding CashThe dashboard looks great. MRR is up month-over-month. The b...›coldOne Customer DependentYou have a big customer and a small business. They know it. ...›coldThe Freemium TrapThe user count is impressive. The revenue number is not. You...›coldFeature CreepThe product does everything. That is also the problem. Your ...›brutalPivot PurgatoryEvery pivot felt like clarity. The market you were entering ...›coldSide Project LimboThe project exists in a quantum state between alive and dead...›coldLaunched But CricketsThe launch was perfect. You had your moment. The upvotes rol...›brutalTwitter Famous, BrokeThe audience is real. The engagement is real. The revenue is...›brutalBuilding in Public, Zero RevenueThe updates come weekly. The revenue does not. You have narr...›coldThe Copycat CurseThe original was successful. The market was validated. You b...›coldPricing Too LowYour product is worth ten times what you charge. You know th...›brutalRefund CityThe sales page converts. The product does not deliver on the...›coldSeasonal SpikeThe numbers in Q4 made you feel like a genius. The numbers i...›coldAccidental SuccessThe numbers are going in the right direction. You are not en...›

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./install-the-daemon

$9. 365 roasts. one public endpoint of pure shame.