mrrsucks_
diff --stat mrrsucks vs everything

the $9 daemon vs the world

business coaches, accountability partners, mastermind groups, therapists — everyone wants to "help you grow." only one of them actually reads your Stripe dashboard.

vs Business Coach$200-500/hour

One reads your Stripe. The other reads your body language. Guess which one lies.

them: $200-500/hourus: $9
vs Accountability PartnerFree (but costs your friend's patience)

Your accountability partner is rooting for you. The daemon is reading your bank account.

them: Free (but costs your friend's patience)us: $9
vs Startup MentorFree to $300/hour

Your mentor has been there before. The daemon is here right now, looking at your numbers.

them: Free to $300/hourus: $9
vs Mastermind Group$500-5,000/month

Five founders agreeing that your problem is "just a positioning issue" costs more than your server bill.

them: $500-5,000/monthus: $9
vs Startup Accelerator6-10% equity

One takes 7% of your company. The other takes $9 and calls you out every morning.

them: 6-10% equityus: $9
vs Revenue Dashboard$50-500/month

Baremetrics shows you the chart going down. mrrsucks says something rude about it.

them: $50-500/monthus: $9
vs Motivation App$10-15/month

"You can do it!" vs "Your MRR dropped $200 last week. Can you though?"

them: $10-15/monthus: $9
vs Actual Therapist$150-300/session

One helps you process the feelings. The other is the thing generating them.

them: $150-300/sessionus: $9
vs Executive Coach$500-1,500/session

The executive coach asks who you are becoming. The daemon asks why MRR dropped 15%.

them: $500-1,500/sessionus: $9
vs Online Business Course$500-3,000 one-time

The course teaches you how to grow. The daemon shows you whether you did.

them: $500-3,000 one-timeus: $9
vs Startup CommunityFree (costs your attention)

The community celebrates your wins. The daemon is there for the other days.

them: Free (costs your attention)us: $9
vs A Co-Founder50% of your company

One takes half your equity. The other takes $9 and tells you the truth every morning.

them: 50% of your companyus: $9
vs Journaling / Morning Pages$0-15 (notebook)

Your journal knows how you feel about your MRR. mrrsucks knows your MRR.

them: $0-15 (notebook)us: $9
vs Productivity / Todo App$5-15/month

The todo app tracks your tasks. mrrsucks tracks whether your tasks produced anything.

them: $5-15/monthus: $9
vs Spreadsheet TrackingFree (costs your sanity)

Your spreadsheet says what you put into it. mrrsucks says what Stripe put into it.

them: Free (costs your sanity)us: $9
vs Twitter/X ThreadsFree (costs your dignity)

The thread got 4,000 likes. Your MRR did not notice.

them: Free (costs your dignity)us: $9
vs Self-Help Books$15-25 per book

"The 10x rule" does not apply to your MRR. The MRR applies to your MRR.

them: $15-25 per bookus: $9
vs SaaS Consultant$200-500/hour

The consultant reviewed your funnel for $2,400. The daemon reviewed your Stripe for $9.

them: $200-500/hourus: $9
SaaS glossary ›MRR milestones ›roast examples ›who is this for ›

./install-the-daemon

$9. 365 roasts. one public endpoint of pure shame.